If yesterday was everyone else in the staffroom’s re-test hell, today’s was my own personal one. The bulk of the 15 students made it in today to learn the 5 conversations by heart neccessary for me to sign their little green slips and award them an undeserved pass.

There’s always something that they do in my tests that annoys me and this time was no exception. I expected that some of the weakest might break up their test into maybe 2-3 units at a time, but not only did half of them insist on attmpting one at a time, they couldn’t even do it in twos and got aother guy who had already passed to come in and read the other half. Effectively this doubled the amount of times I had to hear any given coversation.

Some students took in excess of 8 times in coming to me to perform and still didn’t do enough to pass. “Come back tomorrow!” I instructed one girl who’d failed miserably all semester to pass a single one of the simple tests I’d set that semester after she was still struggling to remember a single sentence at 4pm, but this was apparently not on as she had something important to do somewhere in the boonies..I went way overtime for her, but it was apparent that she wasn’t going to be anywhere near the standard by the time it was time to go home and she was fishing for me to to just pass her whatever. Not a chance!

It always amuses me to see just how terrible some kids clearly regard me as when I don’t give them a pass even when they don’t even approach the pass level. It just goes to show you just how used they are to unacheiving and being rewarded by the Thai teachers with a pass at the end of it without the slightest effort needed to do so.

I have yet to even see one guy. He promptly disappeared after I firstly rumbled him with the conversations scrawled on his hands then, after instructing him to wash and come back, rumbling him again with the same conversations scrawled on his bare feet.

Another guy just didn’t show up…the one who scored a massive 25%.

On a lighter note my extra class seemed to enjoy my class today when I took them into the self-access centre and we watched a Teletubbies DVD. It was funny that English meant for the under-4’s is still difficult for reasonable M5 (16-17 yo) students to comprehend. I did manage to squeeze some reasonable conversation out of the 20 minutes we watched, including “What’s your favourite Teletubby and why?” to discussion about why Dipsy is black.  It was a bit daft at times but was a welcome break from the classroom, I felt.

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On Saturday at the Wor Zone, the English department released the final grades including those who managed to get a grade zero. Consequently the staffroom is abuzz with the kind of students who would otherwise not be seen dead near an English teacher, or an English class for that matter! Students who felt they shouldn’t have failed are asking to see the grading books, and I even had students and their parents coming round to my house yesterday (Sunday!) to ask me to check for them.
I personally have 15 ne’er-do-wells who are vying to change their zeroes to ones via a re-test. Their usual assumption is that I just give them their final test, which they scrape though or otherwise, but inevitably they pass. Ok, I did that in previous years and felt supremely dissatisfied that people who had to make no effort, got through without much fuss. This year, I decided to make it harder - much harder.

As my course is Speaking and Listening, I have always felt that giving a paper test as a final is a waste of time, though it’s something I have to do as a matter of school policy.
In the past, my re-test just echoed the final test, but this year I’m making them do a speaking test. The must memorise the conversations in all 5 units we studied this semester. Ok not much genuine speaking there but at least it’s something they’ll have to knuckle down to rather than a random a,b,c,d waste of time. I’ve given them 24 hours to prepare, and if they come tomorrow and perform to my satisfaction they get their grade 1, if not they come back on Wednesday. If they pull it off on Wednesday they get their grade 1, if not it’s grade zero on their first re-test card. I repeat this Thursday and Friday, and if there is ANYONE left who has not performed satisfactorally by then, I am authorised to fail them.

Four chances! That’s two more than they’re technically allowed!

Of course this announcement when given, was greeted with consternation by the students, who begged to have a simple abcd test, who berated me that they lived in faraway Rattaphum district, that it was so unfair to have to learn 5 units and not 2, though they ultimately knew that had they passed the first time around, they would not have to be there in the first place. It was a case of talk to the hand! This class will try to blag out of tests EVERY time.
I saw no reason to capitulate, after all these are students who barely lifted a finger all semester, and I’m certainly not a difficult man to please. Let’s see which of these students jump through the hoops quickest. I’ve got a feeling that I know which few I’ll still be seeing later in the week.

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Today saw my presentations skills stretched to the limits as a surprise visit by a group of Indonesian heads of department and school admin staff on a factfinding mission in Thailand caught me somewhat off-balance. I say surprise but only to those who had to receive them. The school admin apparently received the invite weeks ago.

So anyway I’m asked to give a short talk for 15 minutes on the history of the school and I am given a small english pamphlet outlining the main details in English. on which to base my facts on. It turned out exceedingly useful.

To start with the delegation is 30 minutes late, then when they arrive it turns out that none of them can speak English. Fear not as Mr Bustle can speak fluent Passa Indonesia. So off we go on our presentation once the 40 people file into the room all wearing a uniform of patterned brown clothes (plus 3 kids wearing a more traditional looking costume.)

Mr Bustle is soon replaced by the Vice Consul of the local Indonesian Consulate as it becomes apparent that none of them understands his translations. I finish my rather disjointed presentation hoping that the teachers will be up for coffee sticky rice and a quick tour. Not so. The delegation have long lists of questions and no-one but me seems to have a clue how to answer them, so I end up giving explanations answers about topics as diverse as the school day, to school planning and recruitment policy, administration structure, and all sorts of other things that I have very little knowlege about…still we seemed to have got away with it and after 1 hour of this we have a short tour round the school, followed by inevitable photo taking.

I must say that Indonesians are a lot more touchy feely than Thais, with lots of arms being put around me, and having me link arms with the children.

I then had a very nice chat with the Bangkok Cultural Attache to Indonesia, before they all left to continue their whirlwind tour.

Despite it being completely un organised we pulled it off rather well. Though I might have to brush up my knowlege of the schools history if I’m to attempt that again.

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Today was the opening of Songkhla’s government highschools’ annual 3 day athletics meet. Most of the day was concerned however with the opening ceremony. This involves a lavish parade which disrupts the whole of central Songkhla for an hour whilst hundreds of brightly and creatively dressed kids march, play in a band or get carried on platforms through the streets. (By the way I’ll hopefully have some photos up soon, but I’ve got to nick them off Charlene as I forgot my camera today..Doh!

If only the kids put this much effort into their studies as they put into the preparation for this spectacle. Once at the stadium, I wandered round chatting to students I knew, getting fed by diferent sets of teachers sitting in the different colour sections…I must have eaten about 5 if those Chinese steamed pork and egg buns by the time I’d got round once!

The parade culminated in a big display in the stadium and was over by about midday, after which the sparts began (and I went home!)

More on this tomorrow. Incidently this is my 200th blog!!

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In the UK it’s called skiving, in the US it’s called skipping. In Thailand they call it jumping. It is the art of avoiding work. Here in the Wor Zone students are particularly adept at this skill, often managing entire class jumps right under the nose of the teachers.

Today, however I witnessed the most inept display of class jumping I have ever seen in my life. Tellingly it was by one of the most intelligent classes in Matayom 3, who clearly had little experience in the noble art.

It started with an empty classroom 10 minutes into the class. Suddenly five students show up, on asking if their friends would come they said “yes!”
So I sat down and chatted to them for 15 minutes, and thinking that no-one else would show told them that they could get on with some homework they were intent on doing.

I then made my way downstairs planning to have a snidey coffee and an e-mail check in the teachers’ room. No such luck.

As I got down stairs, I spotted the rest of the class furtively moving upstairs, and on seeing me , some of them tried to make a run for it, but I got behing them and shepparded them into the classroom. With only 10 minutes to spare, I decided to ask them why they were late and to extract information about which teacher made them late…the umming and arring they made made me smell a rat.

Suddenly at the door with 5 minutes before the end, two more students appeared at the door. One shouts “May I come in please?”, in an angry voice and storms to her desk slamming down her books, and bursts into tears.
I ask what is wrong and she says,

“My friends tell me we are jumping, but they don’t tell me they come here! They shit!”

The cat’s out of the bag. I don’t know whether to be amazed at the English ability, shocked at the swearing, or angry at the deception. The three combine into amusement. I give some vague lecture about it being sad that intelligent students should be so stupid, and don’t listen to your friends if they want to jump and you don’t and just left it at that. What’s the point, they’ve shot themselves in the foot and they look stupid in front of a teacher. Lost faces all round.

I have already touched on Silly Season and how every afternoon for three weeks is being spend sitting on arses eating lookshin or playing volleyball or basketball. There’s really no excuses for jumping at the moment, especially considering the inevitable antics next week. Tuesday Wednesday and Thursday is the annual Songkhla schools’ athletics competition, where all classes are cancelled and we all sign in at the stadium for three days.

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Last week, I mentioned that silly season had got underway, that time of year where for 2 months of the four month semester every week has at least one major interuption to timetables, leading to situations where some classes just don’t get seen from one month to the next.

Having put the school on 40 minute classes all week, to practise for Sports fortnight, the school has cancelled classes tomorrow because of ‘Founder’s Day’. This is followed by the opening ceremony for the Sports Fortnight to begin in earnest…cue banging drums and screaming kids every afternoon for 2 weeks.

The following week is the stadium sports days featuring all the highschools in Songkhla, an enjoyable three day where we all sign in at Songkhlas large stadium, get offered Khao Tom 20 times a day and each cheapy food stand food in the blazing heat whilst the school’s mighty athletes do their thing and the school Katoeys lead the parade. Here’s a pic from last year’s event.

This followed by provincial sports day a week or so after that. Not so involved that one, but the kids all skilve off anyway on the pretences of watching it.

At some point the mid-semester tests are scheduled, and following that at some point is the Queen’s birthday..another public holiday. Following that will be English camp, then God knows what else.

The point is that in the middle of all this unpredictability, I’ve some how got to test 140 students 5 times, plus teach them enough material to be able to do this credibly. The teacher in me thinks that all this sucks, but the skiver in me thinks it’s excellent.

To use Slippery’s phrase: So it goes!

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Expert domino players, these gentlemen are legendary within the Wor Zone of playing as much of it as they can get away with. Watch out world when this crew graduates Wor next year. If they can keep those Mor Sors at bay that is. Bwahahaha! I hope the shadow of M.7 does not fall. Don’t worry I don’t really have a say in the matter. 555

Pictured from the top clockwise: Teerawat 6/4, Woratep (Num) 6/8, Siriwat 6/4 and Kakana 6/5
M6 terrorists the lot of ‘em.
(They’re all right really!)

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To see a slideshow of the day click here or click on the gallery links at the side of this blog.

Wan Wai Kru or teachers day is a traditional Thai ceremony held once a year in June to celebrate and pay tribute to teachers. I know, it’s not exactly going to take off in the West, but as a teacher in Thailand I find the whole ceremony rather charming.

The preparations, as I mentioned a couple of posts ago take place two days in advance with a practise run two days before and a whole afternoon the day before for each class to produce an ornate flower arrangement.

On the day the students gather for assembly as usual for the flag raising ceremony, though they also perform three royal wais. After that the students come upto the front where the teachers are sitting and present them with the flower arrangements and wai at the teachers’ feet. The flowers are then all placed on a table for judging. After this the school director presents the students with prizes for acheivement and of course, for the best arrangement. Following speeches the ceremony finishes. The students then take part in peer-run activities, which largely seemed to involve voting for a favourite class.

From 12:50 onwards it was classes as usual, though pedictably, people were a bit thin on the ground. On the whole a nice relaxing day, spent playing on the Internet.

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Shouts going out today to 6/8, one of my more talented classes. So hi to………..(in no particular order)

Jate, Noom, Natty, Som, Ood Ibb, Pixie, Aom, Laos, Fallang, Lux, Gift, Midia, Zine, Nuna, Titty, Bee, Aey, Taen, Jeab, Nam, Fai, Fa, Pam, Eig, Toom, Pu, Poo, Mon, Por, Toop, Boobu, Beau, Si, Kwang, Gan, Tacky, Nok, and Ying.

Sorry if I missed anyone, I did check my register though
So guys, I want lots of you to leave me a message under this entry by clicking the comments button…Ok?

Just say something like “Hi, this is __________.”
Then say whatever you want to say.

I’ll try and find some more pics, and put them on my gallery.
Sometimes this class is very good but sometimes they are very annoying, and complain about being hungry for the whole class.

Congratulations to Lux and Natty (left and center) who came top of 5/8 last year. Fallang (right) wasn’t so bad either
Update: Thanks for the comments keep it up..I’ll try and post more pictures.
What other class would you like to see up here? Keep the conversation going.
Use the Shoutbox if you want, but I prefer comments because they’re easier to read.

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Now that May is out of the way, school starts being unpredictable this first semester. This years silly season has started inevitably with Wan Wai Kru or Respect Your Teacher Day. There is so much respecting of teachers that the preparation takes the whole first period two days before, the whole afternoon the day before and the whole of the actual day. It’s not exactly respecting my teaching schedule!

Speaking of which, one of the few sensible reforms in ages, making the class periods all 1 hour long, and scrapping the 10 minute break have been rolled back to the original 50 minute classes, with now two 10 minute breaks, one in the morning after period 2 and one in the afternoon following period 6. They have not however re-added the 9th period which means that teaching now finishes at 3:30 Mon-Thurs, with the last half hour devoted to relaxing activities to stop the students from getting “stressed”.

My rant continues below.
(more…)

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